Family Affair

This morning, I heard a terrible news. My aunt died last night.

I haven’t talked to my mom for days this week and I just thought that I should called her today for sure. I felt weird that I had several missed calls late night yesterday because my mom never called me late night but I just ignored the weird feeling.

My parents went to my grandma’s house around 12 am as soon as they heard the news. Everyone was there, my mom said. My aunt was 41 years old. She had 11 years old son and 8 years of daughter. She was suffering from diabetes for years so I wonder if she ever tasted the joy of life with her little children.. I heard that my grandparents cried a lot.. regretting that they couldn’t do many things for her. My little cousins didn’t know even after their mom went to hospital by ambulance car. But they must felt strange because everyone was so sad and grandma was crying, dad was crying, uncles, aunts were crying and said nothing. When my uncle told his 11 years of son that he can’t see his mom anymore, he realized it. My little cousin used to said, “Yesterday, my mom ate the whole meal when we had dinner together!, my mom is eating really well these days, so don’t worry.” to other people every time my relatives visit him. He used to protected his mom even before people asked him. He hated letting people seeing his mom so weak.

This morning, I cried a lot.

I cried a lot because I can’t be with my family in Korea instead I am here, just trying to cheer myself up… I cried a lot because I didn’t get many times to spend time with her. I cried a lot because she was such a young age with 2 beautiful kids. She was supposed not to die like this. I cried a lot because I am wearing my cross necklace she gave me for years, never took it off. She was a Buddhist and when she found out I am a Christian, she ran into her brother’s store and made my cross necklace and said that she hoped that my god will always protect me and although our religion is different she would always support whatever I believe.. So this is not just a necklace, and I felt so terrible today because I didn’t tell her how much I appreciate her love and I was sorry.

I was going to write about my dead fry recently but I can’t, I am sorry to people who expected fun friday story today.

But I am going to be okay.